The Carousel Keeps Turing

I discovered a truth long ago: the world does not revolve around me. I say I discovered it, but I’m still learning it.

Being literally on the other side of the world from everyone I love and who love me really does pose its difficulties. I often find myself wondering why they don’t stop their lives for me when I want to talk, or why they are doing fun summer things without me. This  all sounds incredibly selfish, I know, but it’s just a truth. Now, I wouldn’t go as far as to call myself a selfish person: I mean, I wouldn’t actually try to stop these people from having fun without me or prevent them from going to sleep while I’m still wide awake. I just wonder why I’m not the most pressing issue.

But, as I said, I discovered that the world does not revolve around me  – other peoples’ worlds, especially – and it will go on spinning without me.

Then there are moments in which I feel the world stop spinning. I feel like it stops, the camera pans out and it zooms out from me, and I really do realise that I am just one in a few billion. I feel so little and alone in the world, and I realise that this must be how everyone feels, because it’s actually the reality of how everyone in the world is.

I went to the Docklands in Melbourne last Friday, and I rode the Melbourne Star just as the fireworks show began (an event which my camera decided to miss). It really was breath-taking to be so high up, on top of the world, feeling like the most important person on this earth – and then realise that every other person who has ever ridden the observation wheel has felt the same way.

I’ll admit, these moments are quite upsetting, and I begin to feel like I don’t matter. I don’t know if I do or ever will, but, either way, the world will keep spinning, regardless.

One thought on “The Carousel Keeps Turing

  1. It’s true that many people feel the same breath-taking moments that you do. But that doesn’t mean that yours aren’t important or are insignificant. In fact, I take great happiness in the fact that wonder, amazement and excitement are not limited resources. They don’t have to be spared and stretched across the world’s population to try and ensure everyone gets a little. Every single person can experience moments of intense amazement or inspiration or profundity or awe. For me, it makes amazing moments more amazing that others can share in them.


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